How comes it's already March?

Hey you.

Did you have the feeling January will never end? Yeah, me too.. and suddenly, it's March. The spring is the air. Days are getting longer. The sun is shining... and here, in Zermatt, another snowstorm is heading our way... yay... (a very sarcastic yay)...

I've struggling to hold on to my evening routines over the last two weeks. I felt constantly tired and cold and couldn't sleep. And last week my depression was just all over me. I've been crying at night again. I had a few glasses of wine last few days again.

Today, I decided to get a hold of myself again... My To-Do list got longer and very precise and I'm chipping off it right now. In fact, writing 2 entries in my blog is one of the 3 most important things to-do today.

First of all, last night I turned off my alarms. I slept until 6.30am and woke up to day light. Wow, it feels good. then I put the phone down and went on with my routine:

• morning facial cleanse routine (included deep clean mask)

• morning Pilates work out and meditation on calming anxiety

• morning journaling about my emotions and setting the To-Do list

• morning drawing (I'm learning to draw faces and facial expressions)

• 2 hours of deep work - write 2 Blog entries.... working on this right now

My morning 30min drawing routine

I want to talk about my routines and I'm learning that some weeks it is ok not to fulfill them. I'm learning to forgive myself for allowing myself to rest and let go. It's one of the hardest lessons so far.

This week, I just felt so tired, so fat and ugly, so dumb, so weak. I did my best at work, but coming home, I was beating myself up for everything I didn't do. And on the top of it, I bought a bottle of wine and poured myself a glass. I got drunk immediately. I just needed the voices in my head to shut up! the wine made me cry again... and I couldn't sleep.

Yesterday morning, I allowed myself to mix my morning routine. I went to skate for half hour. It's the last weekend the skating ring is open. I got used to skate before work every morning. It was cold and quiet. I was tired from sleepless night. I cried. Then I got home, changed, went to work and was "the happy coworker."

In the evening, I got home and I decided not to pour myself another glass of wine. I made myself a tea and listened to an audiobook. I promised myself I won't waste today.

I wish you can do the same.

You are doing your best and you are great just as you are!